Over the last thirty days, especially during my stay in the hospital and the reality that God spared me from what doctors say should have been certain death, I have come to a place in my life of renewed focus, enlightenment and perspective.
True godly friends have been revealed to me and enemies have been exposed. Family members who I have ministered to faithfully over the years have abandoned me while Christian brothers and sisters who I barely knew have taken the initiative and actively sought for me, found me, reached out to me in various ways and ministered to me with their prayers, phone calls, emails, text messages, gifts and home visitations.
It is certainly revealing to me that some folks whom I have sacrificed for at great personal expense (while unemployed and unsupported by any church), visited in the hospitals, sat with through surgeries and traveled long distances to be by their side during their personal trials and sufferings have shown themselves to be less than compassionate or caring.
It is certainly illuminating to discover that a grandaunt and close cousin have yet to call me or visit me during my illness yet during their illness I was in the hospital with them twice a day – morning and evening- and assisted with their care. As a human being, this is hurtful and disturbing but I am thankful for the insight as to who people really are.
Nevertheless, I will not stop being who I am. I will never let other people’s ugly make me act ugly.
I am more determined today than I was yesterday to continue to be who God called me to be and to serve and witness to His Ordained Plan of Salvation, His Kingdom Message and His Divine Love.
I am more focused today than I was yesterday on accomplishing what God sent me to say and to do without consideration for financial gain, popularity or religious approval. I only want to please the Father in the name of Christ Jesus.
I am convinced by my present circumstances and resent experience that the Lord has me in the palm of His hand and no weapon formed against me can prosper. God has assured me through miracle after miracle that he supplies my every need and gives me my heart’s desire. He has even given me a new family in Christ Jesus (Matthew 12:50). He has demonstrated His Love and favor toward me in countless ways. I cannot help but praise His Holy Name. I cannot help but to keep looking up because all of my help comes from the LORD! The Lord has said to my soul:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you…Fear not, for I am with you. (Isaiah 43:1-2, 5)